SCW End of the Year Open Invitational 2018

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Off Camera

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This run down home would appear, at first glance, to be abandoned.  It appears to be un-kept and completely ignored, allowing time to do its dirty work of destruction.  Sections of ceiling hang limp in the stagnant air. Fragments of plaster lie damp over a long un-trodden floor, their only purpose to soak in the seasonal rain. Cold water seeps through window frames, rotten and blistered, to nurse the mildew and rise up wallpapers that peel.  Dust lay over every surface like dirty snow, pristine dust layer, not a foot print anywhere, dust bunnies the size of bowling balls tumbled across the floor boards toward unseen skittles, free papers piled up to the letter box and cascaded all the way to the foot of the rough wooden stairs, old tea cups lay on a coffee table thickly encrusted with dried up mould, dust covered mirrors, smell of mildew, stale air, air thick with dust, shafts of light bursting through gaps in the boarded up window, light streaming through the gaps in the heavy velvet curtains, absolute silence, not even the hum of a refrigerator, the houses only occupants weaved their webs between the spindles of the stair banisters and from the ceiling to the wall, old cobwebs billowed in the draft.

It may not look like much, and most would consider these conditions to be unlivable, but for Kimberly Williams this is home. Kimberly has never wanted much in life, not since gaining a slight (stress on the word “slight”) foothold on her sanity and not since she faced down her past demons.  Doing that helped Kimberly gain perspective upon life and, in her own twisted way, made her thankful for what she has.  She doesn’t need nor does she want to live the lap of luxury, despite knowing that she easily could.  She is the daughter of Angelica Jones, after all; if her mother wouldn’t give her a nice place to stay, Kimberly knows that her twin sister Marie’s place is also available.  But Kimberly doesn’t want to live the lap of luxury.  She would rather maintain some connection of what reality is like rather than to be sheltered by money and privilege.  Besides, this is the kind of upbringing Kimberly is used to.  For all of her life her adopted mother raised her off the grid in a place much worse than this with no connection to the outside world.  She is used to this kind of living.

No, the raggedy sofa she currently finds herself lying on is not the most comfortable in the world.  In fact, it is quite stiff and any normal human being would get back problems if they were to stay on it for an extended period of time.  But Kimberly likes it.  And that’s all that matters to her.  Kimberly is staring with a bright grin at a cage that sits on a dusty red coffee table.  Inside that cage is a hamster.

“You like those pellets, Caligula?” She coos in a motherly tone. “Yes, I know you do!  You appreciate anything and everything you get!  Unlike some people I know…”

“Are you bitching about your dumb sister again?”

No, that’s not actually Caligula speaking but rather Kimberly speaking for the hamster.  Of course Kimberly knows the hamster cannot talk but she is certain she knows what Caligula would say if he could speak.  Thus she is just helping him out!  Or at least, she thinks she is…

“Yes, that was a subtweet directed at Marie, Caligula.”

“You’re not on twitter!  Subtweeting is a twitter thing!”

“Well excuse me you hairy bubonic plague carrying furr ball!  I am not up on the hip new social media shit like everyone else!  Or did you forget that I spent all of my teen years and a good chunk of my twenties living off the fucking grid?!”

“Clearly or else you’d know that I prefer booze to this water shit you give me.”

“Now listen here, Caligula!” Kimberly swings her feet off the side of the sofa and stares angrily at the hamster. “You know you are a hamster and that booze is not good for you!”

“I know, I’m just shitting ya!”

Kimberly shakes her head in frustration.  She opens up the tiny cage door and reaches inside and pulls Caligula out of his cage.  She begins stroking the tiny hamster’s back.

“I love you too, Caligula.  You are such a good listener for me when I have problems that I just don’t know how to deal with.”

“You are one great big problem, lady.  You threaten to stab people and sell shirts proudly proclaiming that you groped the owner of SCW.  The fuck is your problem this time?”

“Well my career is at a crossroads and honestly I don’t know what to do…” Kimberly sighs as she leans back and continues petting Caligula while he sits in her lap “…it isn’t GCW. I’ll tell you that right now.  I’m happy with my lot in life there.  It’s SCW…”

“Seems like a lot of bitches are bitching about that place right now.  Your sister included.”

“Tell me about it.” Kimberly rolls her eyes. “I just don’t know what to do.  I mean, I could return to Emerge.  I came real close to winning the Emerge Championship during my run there and if I sign a contract renewal, who knows? I might get another shot.”

“You? Emerge Champion? That’s fucking rich!”

“Why you say that?!” Kimberly asks incredulously.

“Bitch, you live in this hell hole and yet you want to be champion of Emerge?  That don’t jive.”

“Oh you think I want to be Emerge Champion for the fame and money?” She smirks nastily. “Nah, I just wanted to sell the title belt on Ebay!”

“Ok, yeah, that would be pretty cool.  So why don’t you go back to Emerge, bust some skulls, and take the title?”

“Two things make me reluctant to return, Caligula.  One is I feel I’ve accomplished I can accomplish there…well…except the Emerge Championship.  I feel that I need to challenge myself, I need to try bigger and better things, and I can’t do that in Emerge.”

“Ok, fine, you want a new challenge.  But what’s the other reason you don’t want to stay in Emerge?”

“Well…” Kimberly sighs “…Dexter is in charge.”

“Oh, the perv.  What’s wrong with him?  You worried he’ll sexually harass you or some shit?”

“No!  He actually thinks there are other women out there sexier than me!  Can you believe it?!”  Kimberly immediately rips her shirt off, revealing a lacy black bra underneath. “Can you believe he thinks someone has a better pair than me?!”

Kimberly places Caligula back in his cage.  Then she stands up and takes her pants off, revealing a pair of lacy pink panties on underneath.  She turns and shakes her ass at the cage.

“Tell me who has a better ass than me in SCW or Emerge?  Huh?!  TELL ME!”

“Babe…you are fucking hot, but I am a hamster.  I only got a thing for female hamsters. Capicé?”

“Oh…sorry…” Kimberly turns and sits back down on the sofa.  She starts to put her shirt back on until…

“Whoa!  Hold it!  I may be a hamster but I like a good show.  Keep the shirt off.”

“Ok, Caligula.”  Kimberly tosses the shirt to the side.

“Anyway, it appears to me you made your damn mind up already woman.  Go to SCW!”

“Well I would but there is one teensy little problem and her name is Marie.  Marie and I used to be close, closer than even sisters…which is kinda cool cause we are sisters, don’t ya know…we are almost like the same person!  Only one of us is a prude and the other is a sociopath who talks to hamsters!”

“Yeah, touching, get to the point ya lunatic…”

“Marie has new besties now.  Actually not sure if they are truly ‘besties’ or if she’s just trying to hang out with the cool kids.  Point is she has a new set of allies and friends and everything she’s doing now, well, it completely goes against everything she taught me.”

A disappointed sigh escapes Kimberly’s throat. “Caligula, I did terrible things to our family.  I once stalked Marie and terrorized her and her kiddo.  I damn near broke my own mother’s neck.  To cap it all off I kidnapped Marie and used the whole identical twin sister shit to take her place because I was jealous of her life and wanted her life.”

“Well fuck, you did all that AND you’re talking to a hamster that isn’t actually talking back?  You are fucked up. Why aren’t you in a loony bin right now?”

“Because, Caligula, Marie helped me.  She forgave me and she helped me realize that I could change my life, that I could become a different person.  Now I’m still not a fucking saint.  If anyone tries to hurt my family…especially if they try to hurt you, Caligula…I’ll gut them like a damn fish!”

“Yeah, you’re definitely still a whack-job.”

“But you see, Caligula, after drilling that shit into my skull for so long, now Marie has done a complete one-eighty.  And I…” Kimberly shakes her head “…I don’t know what to do.  I’m fiercely loyal to Marie.  You know that. After all the shit I did to her and our mother, especially kidnapping her, I feel obligated to help her in any way I can.  So if I go to SCW, I will help her…”

“And you don’t want to help her with what she’s doing now.”

“Right…”

“You know, Kim, you are bat shit crazy, but you have a good fucking heart.  I’ll tell you what you should do, you should go to SCW. Even if you do help her out from time to time, your mere presence there is a positive influence on that arrogant little prude.  Maybe YOU could turn HER around…”

Kimberly scratches her chin as if pondering this possibility.  Then a grin forms on her face.  She snaps her fingers as if a light bulb just went off over her head.

“I got it!  Not sure I’m ready to join SCW but I know a way that can help me make up my mind and that’s the End of the Year Open Invitational!”

Kimberly takes Caligula out of his cage and kisses him. “Thanks, Caligula!  You’re the best hamster I ever had!”

“I’m the only hamster you ever had you fucking psycho!”

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On Camera

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We open in front of a backdrop of the SCW logo.  It isn’t long until Kimberly Williams comes skipping into the scene from stage left. She is wearing torn denim jeans, black boots, and a black t-shirt that reads “I Groped Mr. D” in hot pink lettering.  Kimberly has a party hat on her head and she is throwing confetti around the air as she skips around in circles.

“2019 is nearly here!  Kiss my adorable little ass, 2018!  HOORAY!”

Kimberly throws the rest of the confetti at the camera.  Once the confetti finishes falling the camera zooms in on Kimberly, who now stands stationary in the dead center, staring at the camera with a smirk on her face.

“A new year is dawning in the world but before we can focus on the new let’s take a look back at the old.  A lot of crazy shit went down in SCW this past year, didn’t it?  For starters, my sister suddenly became a prude…” Kimberly pauses to take a moment to consider her words and then shakes her head “…nah, she’s always been a prude.  She’s just finally decided to embrace it.”

Kimberly snaps her fingers as if she had an idea. “Oh, last year was when Ace Marshall betrayed the Wonderland.  Poor Gio never recovered.  He went crazier than he was before…if that’s possible…”

The redheaded sociopath starts counting off her hand as she names more items. “We witnessed the love of a man and an inanimate object…shout out to ya Howell…we witnessed the rise of the greatest KABLAMAsutra products ever…no innuendo intended…and of course we saw poor Mr. D get betrayed by his own daughter.”

Kimberly shakes her head. “Tisk, tisk…so sad…but that does remind me…” she spins around three-sixty degrees “…you too can have your very own ‘I Groped Mr. D’ t-shirt for nine bucks today!  And I do mean bucks, nine male deer…that or twenty dollars Canadian, whatever is worth more at the time.”

Williams shrugs her shoulders. “So what am I doing here, other than shilling my awesome new product?  I’m here to announce that the Black Death is on the rise in North America…” she pauses for a moment and then shakes her head “…no, that’s not right.  I’m here to tell you that I will build a wall around Dark Fantasy and make Katya pay for it…” she sighs and shakes her head “…no, that’s not it either.”

She snaps her fingers again. “I remember now!  I’m here to announce that I am entering the SCW End of the Year Open Invitation!  Now I know there is one question on everyone’s mind and I will answer that question right now…forty-two.”

She blinks curiously a few times. “What?  That didn’t answer your question?  You should have been more clear.  Well let me try again.  The answer to your question is yes, Jason Dillinger is compensating.  Still not what you wanted to hear?” Kimberly sighs.

“Well shit, I don’t know, maybe I’ll just tell you that as much as I have enjoyed my time in Emerge and as much as I valued my time in Emerge, I realize now that in order to grow I have to seek out new challenges.  Also Dexter Schmidt has terrible taste in female posteriors, just saying.  But I do seek new challenges and are those new challenges going to be found full time in Supreme Championship Wrestling?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe, maybe not; who knows?  But I am going to see what this whole SCW thing is all about by sticking my toes, my feet, my legs, my cute little ass, and everything else into this Open Invitational.  And what happens if I win that cash and that car?  Don’t ask me.  I don’t make plans.  I am not a planner.  I just do things and see what happens as a result.  So maybe I’ll have two hundred and fifty thousand decorative toilet papers!  Or maybe I can be really nice and make it rain money…”

Williams shakes her head “…nah, I’m not that nice!  Whatever I do, you’re gonna know it’s me because one thing about Kimberly Williams is that I am a memorable bitch.  You will always remember me.  So mark it on your calendars, SCW, Kimmie is about to come calling!”

The scene fades to black.